


it's a secret

by dinosar



Series: tumblr requests [6]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, idk iwa-chan is angstin bc he has a big gay crush on oikawa, thats basically it, then fluff happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 06:08:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3799750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinosar/pseuds/dinosar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>oikawa finds out that iwaizumi has a secret, so of course he drags it out of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's a secret

**Author's Note:**

> this got so out of hand it wasn't supposed to be this long im sorry
> 
> also im sorry if theres any mistakes i looked it over but it's 8am and i haven't slept yet
> 
> enjoy?

“Iwa-chan,” Tooru begins, pulling his lollipop from his mouth with an audible 'pop'. His lips are stained red from it, but Hajime refrains from pointing it out―he'll let him discover it on his own.

“What, Shittykawa?” the dark-haired teen asks, already preparing for whatever stupid thing is most likely going to come out of his best friend's mouth. They're almost home, maybe five minutes away, and he thinks maybe Tooru's going to ask him if he wants to stay the night since it's the weekend, and their weekends are usually spent together.

“Tell me a secret,” Tooru drawls instead, popping the lollipop back in his mouth.

Hajime rolls his eyes, rubbing at his nose. “Idiot, we've been friends since we were little so I'm pretty sure you know all my secrets by now,” he mutters, turning his attention back to the sidewalk in front of him.

“True,” the taller teen hums, sounding thoughtful even as the lollipop muffles his speech. But then Hajime nearly jumps out of his skin when his voice is suddenly in his ear. “Which is how I know you're lying to me right now,” he sings, slinging an arm around Hajime's broad shoulders. The lollipop is in his hand again, shiny with spit.

Hajime rubs his nose again, harder this time. “I'm not lying, and even if I was, you think I'd make it obvious enough for an idiot like _you_ to pick up on it?”

Tooru grabs his hand before it falls to his side again, which makes Hajime's mouth fall open. “This is how I know, Iwa-chan,” he says, brown eyes sparkling triumphantly. “Whenever you're lying about something, you rub your nose.”

Hajime rips his arm away and shrugs Tooru's arm off his shoulder, eyebrows drawn together as he glares. “I do not,” he mumbles, scowling even more when he has to stop himself from reaching up to rub his nose again. How the hell had he picked up on something that small?! Hajime hadn't even realized it was something he did―now he was going to be overly aware of it, which he supposed was a good thing.

Tooru lets out a dramatic sigh, wiping a fake tear. “I can't believe you'd lie to your best friend like this!” he cries, wrapping his arm around Hajime's shoulders once more (to the shorter teen's chagrin). “But...I suppose I'll leave you alone about it for now,” he assures him with a grin, winking as he adds, “I'll drag it out of you eventually.”

Lips pressed together in annoyance, Hajime rips the lollipop out of Tooru's hand and shoves it in his mouth to shut him up, feeling satisfied as the brunet yelps when it clacks against his teeth. “Whatever you say, dumbass. Now, are we staying at my house or yours?”

It's not like he's trying to change the subject or anything, because that would imply that he has something to hide―which he most definitely does _not_.

_Okay_ , so maybe that's a lie. But everyone has their secrets, right? Ones that they keep from even their best friends?

That's what he's been telling himself, but now that Tooru is aware that he has a secret, Hajime is starting to feel nervous.

It's not even that big of a deal, though.  _Really_ . But it's kinda hard to tell your best friend that you've been in love with him for years, he reasons.

It's stupid. Tooru is an idiot ― a stupid, irritating idiot. He often wonders how he even fell in love with someone so annoying, but then Tooru does something stupid like brush his hair back from his face or smile (a genuine smile, not the dumb teasing grin he often has on his face) and it just just makes his breath catch and  _fuck_ , he  _knows_ he has it bad and it makes him angry because falling for his best friend was something that was  _never_ supposed to happen. It scares him, if he's being completely honest, because some friendships are easily ruined by stuff like this ― and though he's annoying as hell sometimes, Hajime doesn't know what he'd do without his best friend. Which is why Tooru can never,  _ever_ find out about how he feels. He could live with just being his best friend, because at least that way he can guarantee that the idiot will always be in his life.

*

They're at Tooru's house that night because “Iwa-chan, my parents aren't home! We can do whatever we want!” Hajime doesn't know why that matters, because they literally do the same thing every time they hang out ― watch volleyball videos, eat, play video games, then eat more (they're growing athletes, after all). It's not like Tooru's parents being away would change anything. He supposes they could maybe turn the volume on the tv up a little louder than usual, but that's the only thing he can think of.

Their night proceeds as usual, though Hajime keeps expecting Tooru to pester him about his secret. He doesn't, though, and for some reason it makes Hajime more nervous. Which makes no sense at all, he knows ― shouldn't he be happy that he's not prying for once?

He thinks that maybe some part of him wants Tooru to bug him about it until he cracks and confesses. He thinks that maybe if he gets just one kiss, he'll be alright. And though he tries not to, he thinks about what could happen if Tooru feels the same way he does. It's something he rarely ever lets himself think about, since he doesn't want to make things harder on himself, but he can't seem to help it. His stupid feelings for his stupid best friend are all he can think about at the moment and it's all said stupid best friend's fault.

Tooru doesn't bring up the secret at all that night, and it bothers Hajime more than words can explain. It's so unlike him to back off like this, and Hajime rolls around on his futon in agitation as sleep evades him. Tooru is snoring obliviously in his bed, and it makes the shorter teen want to hit him. How dare he sleep so soundly while Hajime is wide awake thinking about him?

It's not  _fair_ .

*

“Iwa-chan, you look like a zombie,” Tooru remarks the next morning as he spits toothpaste into the sink. Hajime's bloodshot eyes are narrowed in a glare as he gives him the middle finger, sluggishly brushing his teeth. He managed to sleep for about three hours, and all of his muscles felt heavy with exhaustion. His sleep was restless―he feels as if he hasn't even slept at all.

He spits the toothpaste in his mouth into the sink, taking a mouthful of water to rinse his mouth out. He places his toothbrush in the holder next to Tooru's (they have their own toothbrushes at each other's houses, they always have ever since they were little) before shuffling out of the bathroom. Tooru hums as he follows him out, which only irritates Hajime more ― he is  _not_ in the mood to be around someone who's so fucking chipper in the morning. He normally isn't that bad in the mornings, but after the night he had, he just wants to go home and sleep. Which he tries to do, but Tooru grabs his arm before he can reach the door.

“Where do you think you're going? We're supposed to be having a super fun weekend here,” Tooru pouts. He looks unfairly pretty in the morning, even with his hair sticking up in every direction, and Hajime wants to be angry about it but at this point it's just upsetting. Tooru is so, _so_ pretty and he just wants to kiss his stupid pretty face and run his hands through his stupid hair. But he can't, and suddenly he has the urge to cry. He won't, because it would be pretty fucking embarrassing if he did, but the urge is there nonetheless. He blames it on the exhaustion.

“I'm tired, dipshit, so I'm going home and going to sleep,” he mutters, trying to pull free. Tooru's grip is firm, though, and Hajime is clearly some kind of masochist because he doesn't put his full strength into trying to get away.

“If you leave I'll be all alone tonight,” the taller boy whines, shaking Hajime and making him slightly dizzy. “Just nap for a few hours, I'll put on a movie or something to keep myself entertained,” he says, brown eyes pleading.

Hajime sighs, knowing he's going to regret it as he grudgingly nods his head. “Fine, god forbid you spend one night alone,” he grumbles.

Tooru's face instantly lights up, and he drags Hajime to the tv room with a bounce in his step. Hajime lets himself be pulled along, dazed from just how beautiful he looks.

_You're a fool,_ he tells himself as he sits on the couch, watching Tooru pop one of his dumb alien movies in with a grin on his face.

It's probably the lack of sleep talking, but he thinks that maybe he doesn't mind being a fool if it's for Tooru.

*

Hajime feels  _very_ disoriented when he wakes up.

He doesn't know how long he's been asleep, but he guesses it's been a while since he feels less dead than he had before.

He blinks a few times to clear the haze of sleep from his mind. His face feels...wet, and there's warmth against his side. He tries to raise his head, but finds he can't ― because Tooru's head is resting on top of his own.

What the fuck.

The taller boy is pressed as close to him as he can get, and there's a blanket covering them both. To Hajime's horror, he's somehow managed to drool all over Tooru's shoulder ― that explains why his face is wet.

Tooru inhales sharply, shifting, and Hajime takes this opportunity to pull away. He watches as he sleepily blinks, reaching up to rub his eyes as a soft yawn escapes him (which should  _not_ be as cute as it is). “Iwa-chan...?” he questions, his voice husky and thick with sleep. The sound of it makes Hajime swallow hard, and he represses the urge to tug at the collar of his t-shirt. “Oops, I guess I fell asleep too,” he mumbles, stretching. His nose crinkles. “Ew, Iwa-chan, did you drool on me? Gross.”

“It's not like I meant to!” he grouses, cheeks burning. The room is dark thanks to the closed curtains, so Hajime hopes Tooru doesn't see how red his face is. “Why were you so close to me, anyway?!”

“You looked cold, and I was using the only blanket in the room so I figured I'd share it with you,” the taller brunet replies with a shrug. “And then your head slid onto my shoulder and you looked comfortable so I didn't wanna move you,” he adds, yawning again. “It's not _that_ big of a deal, Iwa-chan.”

An annoyed sound escapes Hajime, and he avoids looking at Tooru's face. “Whatever, asshole. I'm hungry, can we eat something?”

“Kaa-san left money, we can order something. I don't feel like cooking,” he answers, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “What do you want?”

Hajime shrugs, scrubbing tiredly at his face with his hand. “I don't care, get whatever you want.”

Tooru decides on a pizza, which he informs Hajime will be delivered in approximately half an hour. They put in a movie to watch while they wait, sitting on separate ends of the couch again, and the darker-haired boy finds himself missing the close contact (as awkward as it had been). He wants to smack himself for thinking like this ― he should be happy about the distance. This weekend is messing with his head, he tells himself, raking a hand through his hair in irritation. 

Ever since Tooru became aware of his secret, it feels like it's so much harder to keep.

*

It's that night when they're in bed that Tooru finally brings it up again. Hajime is surprised, because he'd thought that Tooru had already fallen asleep.

“Iwa-chan, will you tell me your secret now? I've been good, I didn't ask for a whole day,” he says, yawning halfway through. It's late―they should both be sleeping, and Hajime doesn't know why Tooru is awake. He's awake because he can't sleep again, but that's irrelevant.

“I told you I don't have any secrets, Asskawa. Go to sleep,” he says gruffly, rolling over to face the wall. He hopes that gives Tooru the message to drop it, but he should've known it wouldn't work.

He hears socked feet hit the floor, and then suddenly Tooru is draping himself over him. He opens his mouth to protest, a curse on the tip of his tongue, but the taller boy speaks before he can, grabbing his hand which was rubbing at his nose ― _again_ . Dammit.

“And I told you that I know when you're lying, so trying to lie to me is useless, Hajime.”

Hajime freezes. Tooru _never_ calls him by his first name, and he rarely ever speaks in such a serious tone ― it immediately sets him on edge, and he swallows hard. His mouth is dry as he says, “Why do you care so much,  _Tooru_ ? I'm sure there's stuff you've never told me before, it's not a big deal. I can't expect you to tell me  _everything_ .”

“I do have a secret,” the lighter haired teen says simply, letting go of Hajime's wrist and sitting up straight.

Hajime's eyebrows knit together, and he pushes his blanket away so that he can sit up and face Tooru. “You do?” he questions, feeling oddly bothered. He didn't think it would bother him, but knowing that there's something he doesn't know about Tooru...okay, he can see why the other boy might be bothered by the fact that he has a secret. Not that he'd say it out loud or anything.

Tooru hums in affirmation, and in the weak moonlight coming in through the window, Hajime can barely make out the sight of him chewing on his lower lip. It's a nervous habit of his, and the shorter teen is surprised to see it coming out now.

Hajime looks away, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, like I said, you don't have to tell me everything. Who cares if you have a secret, it's no surprise that you do.”

Tooru snorts. “Iwa-chan, I can see right through you, stop acting like you're not dying to know what it is.”

Hajime turns back to him and glares, though he doubts Tooru can even see it in the darkness. “As if I'd ever care about something as stupid as not knowing one of your secrets. Just because you can't handle not knowing my secret doesn't mean that I can't handle not knowing yours,” he mutters, crossing his arms over his chest.

A soft laugh leaves the taller boy. “So you finally admit that you  _do_ have a secret, huh?”

“I―You―” he splutters, angry that he'd slipped up.

His eyes widen as Tooru leans forward, letting his forehead rest against his shoulder. “Is your secret so bad that you can't even tell me what it is?” he asks, speaking so softly that Hajime almost strained to hear him.

“Idiot, why are you―”

“I'm scared, Iwa-chan,” Tooru cuts in, voice wavering. “I'm so scared to tell you mine, because I'm scared I might lose you if you know what it is. But I don't know if I can keep it from you any longer―it drives me crazy. I don't like keeping things from you...”

Hajime chews on the inside of his lip, unsure of what he should say to that. He settles for awkwardly laying a hand on his friend's back to pull him closer, his face burning as he does so, and mumbles, “I'm scared too, I guess. I don't want you to hate me, because...even if you drive me nuts most of the time, you're still my idiotic best friend. I suppose I'd be...sad...if you ever hated me.  _Idiot_ .” His face is practically on fire as he forces the words out, feeling beyond embarrassed. He's not one for sappy, emotional displays, but he knew he had to say it.

A soft sound leaves Tooru's throat, and he presses himself closer while his arms wrap around Hajime's back. His fingers clutch at the thin shirt the darker-haired boy is wearing, the bones digging into his back. “I could never hate you, Iwa-chan. No matter what your secret is, I'd never hate you for it,” he promises.

The shorter boy swallows the lump building in his throat, holding the other boy tighter. “How can you say that when you don't even know what my secret is? What if I told you I'd killed someone? What would you say then?”

He feels Tooru laugh. “I'd say they must've deserved it, because you'd never kill someone for no reason. Then I'd tell you not to tell me any details so that I wouldn't have anything to tell the police if you ever got caught,” he replies cheekily, though his voice is still soft. “I don't think that's your secret, though.”

Hajime sighs, reluctantly smiling. “You're impossible, Tooru. Such an idiot.” He freezes when he realizes that Tooru's given name slipped out of his mouth instead of one of his nicknames or even his surname, and embarrassment floods through him again.

“I like when you use my actual name,” Tooru sighs, and Hajime can practically hear the smile in his voice. “I like using yours, too. Hajime. It feels so nice to say it. Hajime, Hajime, Hajime―”

“ _Stop_ ,” Hajime cuts in, his voice louder than he meant for it to be, but he can't help it when Tooru is saying his name like that. “Stop,” he repeats, quieter this time, “or I'm gonna do something I'll regret.”

“Don't hold back,” Tooru murmurs, and Hajime feels his breath against his collarbone. He represses a shiver at the feel of it. “I'm not scared of anything you could possibly do, so go ahead, _Hajime_.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Hajime breathes, letting his own forehead fall against Tooru's shoulder. “Fuck, Tooru, I like you so much―no, I don't _like_ you, I fucking _love_ you and it drives me crazy because you were only ever supposed to be my best friend but I love you so fucking much and it's terrifying but I can't stop myself from feeling this way and I just really wanna kiss your stupid face right now.” He feels like he can't even control his own body as the words tumble from his mouth in a flurry, like they can't come out quickly enough. He wants to stop himself from saying them, but it's as if a dam has broken ―he feels himself break out in a cold sweat, especially when Tooru goes eerily quiet. “Tooru? Please say something because I'm about to freak out,” he pleads, hating how desperate he sounds.

“Iwa-chan,” Tooru begins, voice even as he pulls away―Hajime wants to stop him from doing so, but it seems his muscles have gone limp, so instead he lets go of the death grip he didn't know he had on Tooru's shirt. “You're really an idiot, you know that? You call me an idiot a lot, but you're a pretty big idiot yourself.”

Hajime's mouth falls open. “That's  _really_ all you have to say to that?!” he explodes, standing up and backing away until his back hits the wall. He tugs at his hair angrily, feeling embarrassed and upset. “You're gonna insult me after I ― after I pour my heart out like that? What the fuck, Oikawa?! At least tell me if you're turning me down!”

Tooru stands, calmly walking up to Hajime and gently pulling his hands from his hair. “I wasn't done, you big oaf,” he says softly, lacing his fingers through Hajime's own. “We're both idiots, okay? We were scared for the same reason.”

Hajime goes completely still, his anger evaporating just like that. “Wait, so...” He stops, unable to say it in case he's wrong.

“I love you too, Hajime. Unbelievable, I know.” He tries to laugh it off, but his voice sounds watery. “I just―I've been in love with you for so long but I've been so scared to tell you because I didn't know if you felt the same way, you know? I didn't wanna wreck our relationship so I kept quiet. But when I found out you had a secret, I guess I let myself hope. I'm so relieved, even though it's totally uncool that you got to say it before I did.” His voice turns petulant at the end, but Hajime barely hears it through the blood roaring in his ears. His knees feel weak, and before he can stop himself, he's sliding down the wall. He barely hears Tooru's surprised exclamation of his name before he feels hands on his face, combing worriedly through his hair. “Iwa-chan, are you alright?!”

Hajime blinks hard, clearing his throat. “Sorry, I...lost my balance, I guess. I'm fine,” he assures the other boy, brushing away his hands.

Tooru slides himself in between Hajime's legs, wrapping his arms around him and pressing their foreheads together. “I was scared for a minute, I thought you were going to faint,” he admits.

Hajime swallows loudly, the proximity making his heart race. Tooru's lips were so close, and it would be so easy to just close that last bit of distance...

“As if I'd faint over something like that,” he says instead, reaching up to lay a hand on the taller boy's cheek. “Somehow I feel like I'm dreaming, though,” he adds, his voice quieter than before.

Tooru chuckles softly. “You're not dreaming, okay? See?” He pinches Hajime then, causing the darker-haired boy to yelp.

“What was that for?!”

“Just proof you're not dreaming, Iwa-chan,” Tooru sings. “If you were dreaming, you would've woken up.”

“You're such a shithead,” Hajime mutters, reluctantly smiling. Their noses brush, and he feels as if his heart might explode. He's not sure how things even turned out like this, but he's glad―no more hiding, no more worrying about the state of their friendship.

“But I'm _your_ shithead,” he points out, rubbing their noses together.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Hajime grumbles, but the words send a thrill through him. “If you don't mind, I'm gonna kiss your dumb face now.”

“So romantic, Iwa-chan,” Tooru mutters sarcastically. “I'm practically swooning.”

“Stop with that dumb nickname already,” Hajime tells him, their lips a breath apart.

Tooru's eyes fall half-shut, and Hajime feels his breath hot against his lips. “ _Hajime_ ,” he breathes, and that's all it takes for the shorter teen to close the last of the distance between them. Their lips touch, and he knows it sounds corny, but something about it feels  _right_ . It's nothing more than a small brush of lips before they pull away, faces burning, but the fact that it happened is enough.

“I love you, Hajime. So much,” Tooru says softly, resting his head in the crook of Hajime's shoulder.

Hajime kisses his temple, allowing himself to smile even though he's embarrassed. “I love you too, Shittykawa.”

Tooru slaps his chest. “At least use my name!” he whines, rubbing his head against Hajime's shoulder.

“Fine,” he grumbles, face reddening. “I love you, too...Tooru.”

A soft sound escapes Tooru, and then his fingers slide into Hajime's hair to pull him in for another kiss. Hajime lets himself smile, returning the kiss with a gentleness he didn't normally have.

It looks like his stupid best friend is now his stupid boyfriend. He can live with that, he thinks.

 

**Author's Note:**

> get @ me on [tumblr](http://nehkoma.tumblr.com/) and talk to me abt these nerds


End file.
